Amazing Journey

AS the play begins, the quintet of singers vocalizes ("Night Waltz"), they then break into a surreal waltz in which the principal characters jump from one partner to another. As the music fades, old Madame Armfeldt is discovered playing cards with her young granddaughter, Fredrika. The older woman explains the three types of smiles that are to be found upon a summer night on human beings. The first smile is for the very young, like Fredrika, who know nothing. The second is for fools like her mother, Desirée, who know too little. And the type of smiles if for the very old, like Madame Armfeldt herself, who know too much.

Next we meet Anne, the teenage wife of Fredrik Egerman. She is busy teasing her stepson, Henrik, a serious young seminary student who is actually a year older than Anne. Fredrik soon returns home with theatre tickets. Anne is delighted and begins to search her closet for an appropriate dress. Fredrik attempts to kiss his young bride, but she avoids him. They have been married now for eleven months, but have, apparently, never consumated their marriage. Quite aware of the difference in their ages, Fredrik has made every effort to be patient with Anne in this matter, but after eleven months, his patience is fading.

	Now FREDRIK: Now, as the sweet imbecilities Tumble so lavishly Onto her lap, Now, there are two possibilities: A, I could ravish her, B, I could nap. Say It's the ravishment, then we see The option That follows, of course: A, The deployment of charm, or B, The adoption Of physical force. Now, B might arouse her, But if I assume I trip on my trouser Leg crossing the room... Her hair getting tangled, Her stays getting snapped, My nerves would be jangled, My energy sapped... Removing her clothing Would take me all day, And her subsequent loathing Would turn me away, Which eliminates B And which leaves us with A. Now, insofar as approaching it, What would be festive But have its effect? Now, there are two ways of broaching it: A, the suggestive, And B, the direct. Say That I settle on B, to wit, A charmingly Lecherous mood, A, I could put on my nightshirt or sit Disarmingly, B, in the nude. That might be effective; My body's all right-- But not in perspective And not in the light. I'm bound to be chilly And feel a buffoon, But nightshirts are silly In mid-afternoon. Which leaves the suggestive, But how to proceed? Although she gets restive, Perhaps I could read. In view of her penchant For something romantic, De Sade is to trenchant And Dickens too frantic, And Stendhal would ruin The plan of attack, As there isn't much blue in "The Red and the Black." De Maupassant's candour Would cause her dismay, The Brontes are grander But not very gay, Her taste is much blander, I'm sorry to say, But is Hans Christian Ander- Sen ever risque? Which eliminates A... Now, with my mental facilities Partially muddied And ready to snap, Now, though there are possibilities Still to be studied, I might as well nap. Bow Though I must To adjust My original plan, How Shall I sleep Half as deep As I usually can, When now I still want and/or love you, Now as always, Now, Anne?
	Later HENRIK: Later... When is later? All you ever hear is "Later, Henrik, Henrik, later." "Yes, we know, Henrik, Oh, Henrik, Everyone agrees, Henrik, Please, Henrik!" You have a thought you're fairly bursting with, A personal discovery or problem, and it's: "What's your rush, Henrik? Shush, Henrik! Goodness, how you gush, Henrik! Hush, Henrik!" You murmur: "I only-- It's just that--" "For God's sake, later, Henrik!" "Henrik... Who is Henrik? Oh, that lawyer's son, the one who mumbles. Short and boring, Yes, he's hardly worth ignoring, And who cares if he's all dammed--" I beg your pardon-- "Up inside?" As I've often stated, It's intolerable being tolerated. "Reassure Henrik, Poor Henrik. Henrik, you'll endure Being pure, Henrik." Though I've been born, I've never been! How can I wait around for later? I'll be ninety on my deathbead And the late, or, rather, later, Henrik Egerman. Doesn't anything begin? Soon ANNE: Soon, I promise, Soon, I won't shy away, Dear old-- Soon, I want to. Soon, whatever you say. Even now, When you're close and we touch, And you're kissing my brow, I don't mind it too much. And you'll have to admit I'm endearing, I help keep things humming, I'm not domineering-- What's one small shortcoming? And think of how I adore you, Think of how much you love me. If I were perfect for you, Wouldn't you tire of me Soon, All too soon, Dear old-- Now / Later / Soon ANNE: HENRIK: FREDRIK [asleep]: Soon, Later... Now, I promise. When is later? As the sweet imbecilities Soon, All you ever hear is Trip on my trouser leg, I won't shy away, "Yes, we know, Henrik, Stendhal elimanates A... Oh, Henrik, Dear old-- Everyone agrees, Henrik, please, Henrik..." Soon, As I've I want to. Often stated, Soon, Whatever you say. When? But when? Even now, Maybe Maybe When you're close Soon, soon, Later, And we touch, I'll be ninety When I'm kissing your brow And you're kissing And dead. My brow And I'm stroking your head, I don't mind it I don't mind it Too much. Too much. You'll come into my bed. And you'll have to Since I have to And you have to Admit Admit Admit I'm endearing, I find peering I've been hearing I help Through life's All those tremulous cries, Keep things humming, Grey windows Impatiently Patiently I'm not Not Not Domineering-- Very cheering. Interfering What's one Do I fear death? With those tremulous thighs. Small shortcoming? Let it come to me Come to me And think of Now, Soon, How I adore you, Think of Now, Soon, How much you love me. If I were perfect Now, Soon, For you, Wouldn't you Now... Soon... Tire of me Later? Come to me soon, Come to me soon, We will, If I'm dead Straight to me, Later. I can wait. Never mind how. We will, How can I live Darling, now-- Soon... Until later? I still want and/or Later... Love you, Soon... Later... Now as always, Now... Desiree!
	The Glamorous Life FREDRIKA: Ordinary mothers lead ordinary lives, Keep the house and sweep the parlor, Cook the meals and look exhausted. Ordinary mothers, like ordinary wives, Fry the eggs and dry the sheets And try to deal with facts-- Mine acts! DESIREE: Darling, I miss you a lot, But, darling, this has to be short, As mother is getting a plaque From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group. Whether it's funny or not, I'll give you a fuller report The minute they carry me back From the Halsingborg Arts Council Amateur Theatre Group. Love you. QUINTET: Unpack the luggage, la la la, Pack up the luggage, la la la, Unpack the luggage, la la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous life! MR. SEGSTROM: Ice in the basin, la la la, MR. ERLANSEN: Cracks in the plaster, la la la, MRS. ANDERSSEN: Mice in the hallway, la la la, QUINTET: Hi-ho, the glamorous life! Run for the carriage, la la la, Wolf down the sandwich, la la la, Which town is this one, la la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous life! MADAME ARMFELDT: Ordinary daughters ameliorate their lot, Use their charms and choose their futures, Breed their children, heed their mothers. Ordinary daughters, which mine, I fear, is not, Tend each asset, spend it wisely While it still endures-- Mine tours! DESIREE: Mother, forgive the delay. My schedule is driving me wild. But, mother, I really must run-- I'm performing in Rottwig, and don't ask "where is it," Please... How are you feeling today? And are you corrupting the child? Don't. Mother, the minute I'm done With performing in Rottwig, I'll come for a visit And argue. QUINTET: Mayors with speeches, la la la, Children with posies, la la la, Half-empty houses, la la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous life! MRS. NORDSTROM: Cultural lunches, QUINTET: La la la, MRS. ANDERSSEN: Dead floral tributes, QUINTET: La la la, MR. LINDQUIST: Ancient admirers, QUINTET: La la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous life. DESIREE: Pack up the luggage, la la la, Unpack the luggage, la la la, Mother's surviving, la la la, Leading the glamorous life. Cracks in the plaster, la la la, Youngish admirers, la la la, Which one was that one, la la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous life. DESIREE & QUINTET: Bring up the curtain, la la la, Bring down the curtain, la la la, Bring up the curtain, la la la, Hi-ho, the glamorous... DESIREE: Life! 6.Remember? MR. LINDQUIST: Remember? MRS. NORDSTROM: Remember? The old deserted beach that we walked-- Remember? MR. LINDQUIST: Remember? The cafe in the park where we talked-- Remember? MRS. NORDSTROM: Remember? MR. LINDQUIST: The tenor on the boat that we chartered, Belching "The Bartered Bride"-- BOTH: Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we cried! MR. LINDQUIST: Ah, how you promised, and ah, how I lied. MRS. NORDSTROM: That dilapidated in-- Remember, darling? MR. LINDQUIST: The proprietess's grin, Also her glare. MRS. NORDSTROM: Yellow gingham on the bed-- Remember, darling? MR. LINDQUIST: And the canopy in red, Needing repair. BOTH: I think you were there. MRS. NORDSTROM: The local village dance on the green-- Remember? MR. LINDQUIST: Remember? The lady with the large tambourine-- Remember? MRS. NORDSTROM: The one who played the harp in her boa Thought she was so adept. BOTH: Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we wept! Ah, how we polka'd-- MRS. NORDSTROM: And ah, how we slept! How we kissed and how we clung-- Remember, darling? MR. LINDQUIST: We were foolish, we were young-- BOTH: More than we knew. MRS. NORDSTROM: Yellow gingham on the bed, Remember, darling? And the canopy in red-- MR. LINDQUIST: Or was it blue? MRS. SEGSTROM: The funny little games that we played-- Remember? MR. ERLANSEN: Remember? The unexpected knock of the maid-- Remember? MRS. ANDERSSEN: Remember? The wine that made us both rather merry And oh so very frank-- ALL: Ah, how we laughed! Ah, how we drank! MR. ERLANSEN: You acquiesced-- MRS. ANDERSSEN: And the rest Is a blank. MR. LINDQUIST: What we did with your perfume-- MR. ERLANSEN: Remember, darling? MRS. SEGSTROM: The condition of the room When we were through... MRS. NORDSTROM: Our inventions were unique-- Remember, darling? MR. LINDQUIST: I was limping for a week, You caught the flu. ALL: I'm sure it was...you.

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