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Don't Call him French Dear Amanda: Since I haven't heard from you, I assume that the police still have not found the robbers. I am very sorry, but don't give up hope yet. I have just learned that one of my friends from Europe is moving to Boston next month. He might be able to help because he is a private investigator. He is not just any private eye: he is reputed to be the greatest living detective. I am sure he will not disappoint you. His name is Hercule Poirot. Although he sounds French, he is Belgian, but more importantly he is very sensitive about it. Never say that he is French because it will greatly upset him. He is about five feet and four inches tall. Even though I do not know exactly old he is, I think I can say that he is past middle age. He has black hair ( I am sure he uses a tonic!) and a stiff black mustache which he is very proud of. His head is almost egg shaped. He reminds me a little of James CoCo or Albert Finney. His attire is very neat and formal consisting most often of a black suit and bow tie. I wouldn't mention it to him but several people have mistaken him for a waiter! Orderliness is a way of life for Poirot. He has a great love for symmetry. Everything in his home is in it's logical place. The books on the shelves are arranged by height. So don't take it to heart, if he is constantly straightening things out in your house. It is almost second nature to him. One way to get on his good side is to help him unpack when he arrives. He will probably be in a bad state because of the chaos the move will create. I should warn you that Poirot has a big ego and loves flattery. He is also very vain. He is almost never wrong, therefore he is very sure of himself. This can be very irritating especially when he knows something that you do not. Unfortunately this will probably happen frequently, since he is extremely knowledgeable and perceptive. Don't let this intimidate you. Know it is a part of his character. He needs people to look at him in awe and wonder "How did he know that?". It causes him to work harder to fulfill their expectations of perfection. For him, it makes the difference between being a good detective and a great one. Poirot's philosophy is to understand the mind of the criminal. He employs the "Little Gray Cells" in the brain. He said that the physical evidence is often misleading. Instead he uses psychology and reasoning. Before he proceeds in a case, he will sit quietly and think things through. But trying to find out "why", he will know what to look for. You must try to be patient with him while he working on your case or you might go mad! He will keep all of his theories to himself until the problem is solved. Or else he may drop mere hints now and then- which could be more frustrating. Remember that he has a big ego and a flair for the dramatic. When he solves the case, he may try to gather an audience to listen while he reveals the solution. (And I'm sure that he will find it) Finally, do not let the fact that he is the greatest detective in the world scare you. Seriously, he will be as courteous as humanly possible to you. Poirot has a soft spot for the "ladies in distress". I am sure he will take you under his wing. Just try not to laugh if he calls himself "Popa Poirot". I will write
to you again when I know the exact date of his arrival. |