A note to readers:

I had begun keeping this diary from the onset of the tour as a way to keep my friends and fans abreast of the really exciting trip I was venturing on. And I wanted to offer people a look at the tour from the slightly less rarefied perspective of one of the side men. To that end, I bought a Phenom (palmtop computer) and a digital camera to document the whole thing in as close to a "You are there" way as possible. Everyone on the tour was aware of the project and seemed to think it was a good idea. All the material was offered to Bob first for the Granary site, but he was understandably eager to make his own document.

Obviously I had no idea it was going to end as it did.

I wrote the journal as the tour happened and sent sections to be posted every few days. In the interest of spontaneity, things went in pretty much unedited. I thought quite hard before posting the final pages. In the end, I felt that I should post them in some form because I had been as honest and fair as I could be throughout the journal and I thought to leave off the end might have been somehow dishonest, perhaps even cowardly in a sense -- both to myself and to those who'd cared to follow the diary.

I guess at the time I was trying to work through the conflicting messages I was receiving as to what happened and why. And I was trying to correct several erroneous rumors circulating that made me seem unprofessional or cavalier about the whole thing. There were a fair number of my friends and supporters left very confused and let down by my sudden absence and I felt I owed them an honest explanation.

After he returned to NY, I made the effort to seek Bob out, met with him, and told him how I had felt -- essentially all I had written. That conversation went a long way toward clearing the air between us. We have met several times since then as friends.

As I have from the beginning, I continue to respect Bob Mould as a musician, writer and performer. I am still a fan. Those who read the journal in its entirety would, I hope, have seen that the bulk of it was enthusiastic and positive, especially about Bob himself.

By now, I feel that most of my friends and supporters who cared or needed to know what I had to say about my last days on the tour have read the last pages. I think the time has come to close the book so as not to prolong the debate about what happened and why. Even with all the information I have and have offered, I can't say for sure that those questions have been answered.  If something I wrote a year and a half ago is out there still to dredge up negative stuff from the past, then perhaps it's time I go back and retrieve it from the public domain.

To be honest, it's been quite a while since I dwelled on the ugly part of what until then was a fantastic, complex, once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I'd assume the same is true of Bob. I've had a number of great things to occupy my time since and so, I'm sure, has he.

That's why I asked that the final entries be removed for the time being. They'll be amended and reposted as soon as I find time.

-- Michael